I thought coming homw would be just what I needed..and like everything else it proved to be just in oasis in a desert full of emptiess and lies (oh God, I sound like some pathetic Twilight obsessed teenager, don't I). My mother, who is obsessed with body image and weight has constantly talked about how noticeable my weight gain is...to anyone that will listen. She said so, in front of my best friend, who I haven't seen in ages. He was at least polite, nice, and tactful enough to move on very quickly, but then again he has his own problems right now. I also had a very strange deja vu involving my old high school and my ex's little brother, who looks just like him. It almost felt like the 2 years that have gone by in the interum were never there and then I looked down. Everything aout me is different, my hair is crapy and short now, I feel stupid and fat and the world has done everything to make that very clear to me.
I have this notion that my life has certain running themes. One of them is the idea that the while the world moves on, changes, and grows...I don't. All I can do is watch. It's happened nearly my whole life. Small things change, but not much. Sometimes I wonder....does everyone see what I see?
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