Thursday, June 24, 2010
Haven't been posting due to my internship in glorious NYC!!!!!
Back for the 2nd time at my social work gig, but it's not a bad thing at all. So what if I'm working with teen-aged delinquents, in a closet that I share with 3 others, and live in another unventelated closet on an air shaft. It's New York City and that alone is amazing.
In other news - I'm fat. Not as fat as I used to be, but fatter than when school ended. Isn't all this walking supposed to help shed the pounds...Let's try for a better tomorrow.....
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
This just in..SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER! I wish it were forever, but another year won't hurt...much. Got my grades in....for a semester in which I did nearly nothing I had pretty good grades. Grade inflation...ain't life grand. Anyway, I'm finally done now and free of all this nonsense for another summer. My life next year will be very different and I can't figure out how I'm going to deal. I'm glad all this stuff is over, but I still have to look at the people who took away the things that made my life in this place. I don't know how I will manage, but all I can do is go with it.
Friday, May 14, 2010
I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner n the pouring rain
Despite all the things that have happened to me this semester, all the things that have been taken from me I woke exhilaratingly happy. All the pain and anger I've felt in the past few weeks has melted away on its own. Every time I said I was stronger than this place or these people must have finally gotten through to the me on the inside. I'm done with most of my classes and with any luck, I'll have the final stretch done soon. Then home again....then back to the BIG APPLE.
Sidenote: all this finals and college stress has given me no chance to really east much. Though I haven't been to the gym in WEEKS i lost 2.5 pounds. Hello finals diet. Hello jeans I haven't worn in a year. Thinner and thinner still. Gotta love it.
Loving my life again despite you bitches!!!!
Monday, May 10, 2010
We don't know how you're spending all of your days when love isn't here.
I can't wait to leave this place. School has finally broken the very last straw. If I could leave tomorrow and start my life afresh somewhere new, I would be on the first plane out. I found myself looking for jobs yesterday and I'm not even done with my degree yet. I hold no stock in the notion that everything will be perfect in this new place. More likely than not it will open the door to some fresh hell, but it will be somewhere else, some place else with new people and things to loathe.
My time on the outside is over...
Friday, May 7, 2010
First it takes you high, then it takes you under
I just hated today. It was almost as if last year had returned to rear its ugly head. I don't like that feeling, as if the darkness could just reach up and take me over. I refuse to feel like that ever again. This year needs to end...NOW. I was so high first semester and now its trying to beat me low....almost as low as I was before. I will NEVER feel like that again. No matter what happens.
Sidenote: Feeling sick again. I haven't felt well at this semester and its most likely something in my intestines, probably my appendix or spleen since its coming from those areas. I have a doctors appointment for when I get back home. My mom's worried, but at this point I can't even do that. Serious or not, it is what it is. I have go to live the life that I have got.
Additional note: One of my friends is a damn fool if he thinks I'm gonna hook up with him. Ever. He can put that out his mind now, the ho.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
What kind of fuckery is this?
This year....it was the best of times...it was the worst of times. Honestly, I don't know what to do about school anymore. Any time I'm not here, I'm having the best time, living my best life and the second I set foot on this campus it implodes. I've cracked it - its this place. This unholy, soul sucking place and most of the people populating it. I've decided that this place and all these people aren't real things. Just something I made up to hurt myself in any number of ways. At least I;m not miserable this Spring. Last year I was 10 steps from killing myself, probably literally and now, despite this places' best efforts I'm in love with my life. I can attribute any all issues with stress and pain and whatever else to this place. Whenever I'm not here, even when I'm working like a real adult job in an office (read cubicle) for 8 or 9 hours a day I feel great and exhilarated, even on the days when I fall asleep at my desk.
Next up: Senior Year!! Good Riddance to bad rubbish....
Note: I have solidly maintained my weight this year, an absolute 1st for my college career. I'm considering becoming a vegetarian for morally and weight reasons. I kind of don't like the meat industry in American and after years of immunity to those PETA vids (I could watch one while eating a meal from KFC. I know...I'm stone cold) I think about sad chickens and other sad poultry ( I already nixed pork and beef). Plus, there aren't fat vegetarians...well at least the ones that stay off the white pasta and cakes.
Wish me luck and more regular posts this summer.