I've been pushing myself through this sort of haze lately, trying to move along. This next month will seemingly be hell on earth from the absolute get go. I will have no peace in any realm of my life, which is just painful.
I've been really focused on my weight the past few days. Its not like it every really goes away but its been really prevalent; I've been super focused on thin girls and what they're eating and if they're eating. I've been watching people at the gym. The worst part is what's going on in my head. It as if I can hear this other voice that isn't me screaming at me to eat or not eat calling me a fat whore and everything else I can think of. I fell like I'm going a little crazy.
My class on eating disorders is not helping in anyway. We're reading about the failure of diets and why people constantly go back and forth. It reads like I'm reading my own mind. I don't have the strength.
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